9 weeks

Visiting with Grampa at Christmas

Sawyer loves his Meemaw (Gramma)

Having fun with Aunt Molly

And so, my sweet Sawyer is 9 weeks old today. I can't believe how much he's grown, and I still can't believe I'm actually a mama. He had his 2 month appointment today, complete with shots and everything. He was 11 pounds 14 ounces, 23 inches. According to my doctor, he is in the 50 percentile, average, right in the middle. But he is far from average.

Of course he was administered his first shots today. I made Ryley come with to the appointment because I wasn't sure how I would do. I'm so glad he came...it was the first time Sawyer has actually cried. It was heartbreaking for me, as I'm sure any mother understands. Having never heard a true sad or hurt cry out of him, it was especially traumatic. To see real tears falling from his eyes. But Ryley was great, held Sawyer's hands and told him what a good boy he was.

He is sleeping through the night now. According to The Baby Book by Dr. William Sears, sleeping through the night by medical standards is 5 hours. I put Sawyer down for bed and he sleeps 8 hours, wakes up hungry and falls asleep by the end of his feeding, then sleeps another 2-3 hours. It's been that way for the last few weeks, and he's always been a good sleeper before that as well. I know, this can change depending on his development. But I am really enjoying it right now.

I find myself praying for him constantly throughout the day. I pray for his character, I pray that he will love the Lord with his whole heart. I pray that he will not suffer in this life unless it brings glory to God. I pray for his wife, that she will love him second only to God...and selfishly, that she will love me, too, so that I will still get to see my boy. Yes, I know, I'm getting ahead of myself a bit. But the Lord knows the worries of my heart and I'm thankful I can go to Him with my thoughts.

6 weeks old

Lounging around with Papa and watching some football.

Starting to resemble me a little bit! At first I think he looked so much like Ryley, but now it depends who's holding him...what do you think?

Napping after church.

Trying out yet another infant seat...Macy is always closeby, watching her boy.

Thank God for Little Boys

I have always thought it would be best for me to be a mother of boys. In analyzing my feelings, personality, and life perspectives, I have so many reasons why. Maybe it's because I was awful to my mother and so I am afraid of having a daughter...because what goes around, comes around, right? And while I do love looking pretty, expensive shampoos, and nice cosmetics, those who know me best would agree I am a tomboy by nature. I always dreamed of having sons and going to their football games. And fine, I'll admit it...the idea of having all sons seems like the perfect setting so I can be "queen of the castle."

So when God did a number on our plans for starting a family, I was sure I was done for. We were not able to choose the gender of the child we thought we'd adopt since we would be first-time parents, and almost all perspective adoptive families end up with a boy. Which was great for me. But the Lord planned for me to be pregnant, and I was sure (and terrified) that it would be a girl since He often changes everything with His plans.

In the weeks before I know the gender of our baby, I resolved that God's plans are always particularly amazing and perfect. So I had a peace about the baby girl I thought I would have.

Praise God for Sawyer. A perfect baby boy, just like I've always dreamed of. Sawyer is such a wonder, more beautiful than I ever thought a child could be. I know, I'm his mama so I'm inclined to think he's beautiful.

But look at him in his winter hat. Proof of why I'm so in love with this boy.

So in love that I dread the thought of being away from him for two hours to get a haircut.

And during this Christmas season, as I'm realizing what parenthood does to one's perspective, how it has changed my heart.....I am in awe of the miracle of my Savior's birth.

My Sweet Little Boy

Sawyer is 5 1/2 weeks old already, and time is absolutely flying by. These pictures were taken when he was 2 weeks old by an amazing friend of mine. He is such a sweet baby. He sleeps well at night and is very happy during the day, not fussy at all. Sometimes he gets into moods where he just squirms around a lot and squawks, but he's not into crying. Having a baby is a lot of work, but I didn't think a baby could be this mild mannered!

He has been smiling for a few weeks now, every day a little more. I can't even put into words how I feel about him and about life. I am just so in love and content being home with him.

The only thing I've been disappointed with is the fact that Ryley is still in the field and isn't home much. He sees him about twice a week (Sawyer and I are usually sleeping when he comes home and when he leaves again). Sundays are the only family day we get to have. It just makes me sad that I'm the only one who is witnessing every detail of the changes in Sawyer.

I already want him to stay little forever! He is such a blessing, and this time in my life is more amazing than I could have imagined.

Sawyer JD Blair

Sawyer JD Blair was born Thursday, October 29th at 5:32 pm. Details later...haven't had time to post because we have both had some setbacks, but we are at home and happy!

STILL. PREGNANT.

I never thought I would be frustrated with this! Now from what I've heard, I've really had it easy compared to other women I know who have gone through pregnancy. And I am still grateful for that.

But today I woke up and I felt like I had been hit by a semi.

Stiff joints, swollen hands and feet, nausea...that's half of my complaints.

When I saw my doctor on Monday, she offered to schedule an induction for this Friday, Oct. 30th. I declined, as I know that being induced typically makes for a more intense labor. After all, I was making progress from the week before (if you know what I mean). So I was supposed to see my doctor again on Friday for an appointment...but she said if she had to guess, she would see me before then. She's right...she will be seeing me today...I only wish it was because I was in labor. I am impatient and I want to know if I've made any more progress...so not a total defeat, right? I mean, I just want to know....

Today is Wednesday. And this baby should come now so I don't have to be in the hospital on Sunday. I need to be watching football at home, where I belong. ;)

And with my last sentence, you can know that I am teetering on the edge of being rational. I really look forward to being in labor. Now I've really lost my mind! Haha.

Perspective

I have been really laying low for the past week. People are calling to find out if the baby has arrived yet...and I usually don't answer the phone. So if you're one of those people, please don't take it personally! I will let you know when our firstborn is here as soon as possible, and I appreciate your checking in on me, even if I don't take your call.

I continue to go on long walks with the dogs. I'm running out of things to keep me occupied.

In other non-pregnancy news, Ryley has been working extremely hard, as usual...he typically leaves the house by 6:30 a.m., and if it doesn't rain, he is home between midnight and 1:00 a.m. For those of you who don't know, this is a very busy time of year for him, as he is a grain farmer and he's in the middle of harvest season. On a typical harvest year, they usually start chopping silage (the whole corn plant chopped up to feed cattle or other livestock) around the end of August, then they move into combining the soy beans, and then finally they combine the corn (harvesting the kernels only). On a good year, they are done by Thanksgiving...but that has only happened once in the six years I've been around.

Ryley is farming quite a bit more ground this year. We had a fairly good growing season, although it was a cooler summer and so the crops took longer to mature. We contracted most of our corn to be chopped into silage for a dairy, and our soybeans are non-conventional and will be sold to a company who makes things like soy milk. We had and still do have high hopes for a great harvest. But the weather is being especially difficult this year. As I'm typing this, they are still chopping silage. We don't even have a start on the soybeans yet. We've had rain, snow, and cooler temperatures than normal. Since most of our crop is soybeans this year, it is very worrisome since we don't have a dryer (most grain farmers in our area don't) and so the beans have to be at a certain moisture level for harvest. Just when the beans are close to dry enough, it seems to always rain or snow. And if this keeps happening and we start accumulating snow, we simply cannot harvest our beans. With corn, you can always harvest eventually since: 1) they can be dried at the elevator, and 2) it's a much taller plant and you can typically combine when there's snow on the ground.

The forecast for the next 10 days? 30-60% chances of precipitation. Every day.

Of course, our God is bigger than the forecast. And whatever happens...even if it's the worst case scenario...I believe God will use it for good. But the stress of not knowing does get to me sometimes...and I can't imagine how it feels for Ryley, who has to be out there battling the mud to bring the crop in every day. I really should take some pictures of how the whole thing works so you can get an idea. I did not grow up knowing much about farming, and I am extremely amazed at the work ethic of these men. I am especially impressed by how smart my husband is on so many levels...he has a mind for business, a way with people, and I swear he can fix anything...even if it requires he build a part to fix it. I believe in his abilities with all my heart...but even on a year where he makes all the best decisions and works harder than ever, you are still at the mercy of the weather. And I won't even get into market conditions...food prices and our government...that's a topic for another day.

And so I'm praying for him...such a crucial time of year, and he's out there struggling, pulling the semi trucks through the mud with the Caterpillar tractor...and meanwhile, the people living on the road that borders his fields are hurling obscenities and calling the sheriff...because their road has a little mud on it. Completely irrational, selfish people who don't know what it's like to figure things out for themselves...and apparently have nothing better to worry about. Not many people realize what farmers go through to put cheap food on our tables.

So here I sit, thinking about life and God and how my life will changes completely any day now. I can narrow down my hopes and dreams to two things: that my love for my husband and the strength of our marriage will continue to grow under the Lord's guidance, and that this precious little one will know God and have an even deeper relationship with the Creator than I ever will. I surrender my marriage and this child's life to You, Lord, because it would all be so meaningless without You.

40 weeks + 1 day

I'm past my due date! Wondering if Baby Blair is waiting for the most convenient time to come into the world so papa can get more work done in the field? Never thought I'd say this...but I'm looking forward to the experience! Seems that nothing worth doing is ever easy, anyway. Sweet Ryley likes to pray that I would have no pain...I responded to him after the prayer by saying, "Don't pray for no pain, that won't happen! You should pray that I can manage the pain." I instantly felt regret that I told him what he should and shouldn't pray for. He simply responded by saying, "Well, I don't want you to be in pain, so that's what I'll pray for but God may have something different in mind." I love how things are so simple and straightforward with him.

So if (when) I have pain...I know who to blame for the lack of faith! I couldn't think of anyone else I'd rather go through this with. I wouldn't trade my life for anyone's.

It Takes a Village

I wasn't very good at taking lots of pictures throughout my pregnancy. But here's just a couple that include a few of the people who have made this time in my life extra sweet!

Sister Heather, Chrissy, Nicole, me, Stacy.

Stepsis Rachel, me, Stepma Debi.

Sister Heather, me, Sister Kari. Actually, they are Ryley's sisters :)

I have really enjoyed this time in my life!!!! I've learned so much, and I really found out who cares about me. So thanks to all of you who have been genuinely excited with me, it really wouldn't have been the same without you.

On Coast

It's the day before my due date and I am just enjoying the moment. For the past two weeks I have not felt anxious or overwhelmed, and I am so grateful for that! I feel like I've done a really good job of just appreciating the here and now instead of looking ahead or dwelling on the past...and I have the Lord to thank for that.

I keep the house clean, work on small organization projects, and I'm also working on sewing a microfleece baby blanket.

There are so many things I'm feeling right now...mostly feeling content and in love with Ryley. This has been a season of sitting quietly and listening. I wish I could write down insightful thoughts and feelings, but I just don't feel like it. I just want to wait on the Lord and know that He is good!

Goodbye

On Friday, October 2nd, I found our little Toby dog had passed away in the night.

Toby has been my chihuahua dog since 2001. He used to live in Florida with my stepma, and when she married my dad when I was in college, he came to be mine. He has been through quite a bit with me...through my volatile times at college when I was making a mess of my life, to when I quit school to straighten out. He was there when I met a boy and moved to Indiana to be closer to him. And when that didn't work, we moved to Minnesota where I would later marry that same boy.

His life was all about adjusting to change. I think his longest place he's ever been is in the first house we bought, the house we're in now. Even then, he's watched our family grow as we added dogs to our household.

Within a month after finding out I was pregnant, I had this thought that he wouldn't be here when we brought our firstborn home. In July he began coughing, and the vet told me that it was due to heart failure. As his heart muscle wore out, it became enlarged, and his lungs started filling up with fluid.

With some medications, Toby had a few good months. But we knew he only had months left. He started coughing again, and Ryley was going to take him to the farm to put him out of his misery. But it was cold, rainy, and dark out that week and I was a mess. We let it go for a few days, thinking maybe he'd get better, or at least maybe it'd get nicer outside. Finally enough was enough. Thursday night would be his last night, and so I gave him his favorite dog food casserole. We sat by his basket, petted him and talked about his life.

Friday morning I woke up and found he was gone. I was devastated, I thought I would get to say goodbye one last time. But I am so grateful. He looked so peaceful, just like he had slipped away in his sleep. Ryley was very sweet. I know he was sad, and he made sure the other dogs were able to see that Toby was gone before he took him away to be buried.

He was a good little dog. I'm not a little dog person, but he was meant to fall into my life. I watched his progression from a nervous, anti-social dog because of abuse.....to a very friendly, loyal, and sweet friend. I am grateful that Ryley loved him and gave him so much attention in the 6 years Toby was his dog, too.
Until we meet again someday, my sweet Toby dog. I know I wasn't always the best owner, and sometimes I got frustrated with you. But you loved me all the same. I'll miss you.

5 weeks left

So I'm doing pretty well at blog entries lately! Just a quick update along with a few more pictures from our photo shoot. I have 5 weeks left until my due date. Yesterday I had a meltdown. Remember the crib and dresser/changer combo I ordered? Well we got the crib over a week ago and long story short there was a mistake on the pre-drilling the prevented us from putting it together properly (well, Ryley wanted to weld something to make it work...but I thought for the money we paid, we should have to get creative). Ryley was very impressed that I didn't get angry or anything. So we packaged it up and took it back and we were waiting for a replacement crib.

Yesterday our dresser unit came. We picked it up from the store, and it was a very clumsy box to try and lift (especially for me!). Long story short, we finally get it the room, unwrap it all and I love the way it looks. Until I try to open the drawers. So we had to package that back up as well. That was when I had a meltdown. But I'm sure it will all work out.... :)

Anyway, here's a few more finished pictures.

Photo Preview

A preview of the portraits that a dear, talented friend shot for us last Friday. In case you're wondering, I am 33 1/2 weeks in these. We started out thinking we would never get any nice pictures because Ryley and I couldn't stop laughing! We had a fun time though. Ryley was very sweet and patient (he thinks taking pictures is dumb...he said he doesn't need pictures and remembers everything in his mind...haha). But I definitely think that between our creative friend and how cute and happy Ryley looks, it's already a success! Can't wait to see the rest of them!

Sweet Summertime

Still Shocked...

So apparently I have less than 7 weeks to go until my due date. Not a day has gone by that I don't think "Is this really happening?" I am in awe daily of what God has done.

It has been something like 24 weeks since I became aware of the life I will bring into this world. It has been quite a ride. I can say that Ryley and I have been savoring the last months of "just us," living in the moment yet still looking forward to what is to come. For me, it has been a time of reflection on my life. How did the way I was raised affect who I am today? And how will my personality affect my child? What are my hopes and dreams for this child? So many things to ponder and think on, so much to look forward to, so much to be thankful for.

Of course, thinking about becoming a mother makes me think about the type of mother I had. It has become so real to me how much she put her whole heart into her children. How both my mom and dad spent so much time with us. I think about how my brother and I played sports year-round, and there was never a game at home or away where we didn't have a parent there to watch. Both of my parents also coached us. How amazing is that?

I have been enjoying the small things along the way during this pregnancy. I haven't taken for granted the days I have been able to sleep in. Or how easy it is to spend time swimming or going on walks with my sweet dogs. The way Ryley looks at me, and how he pats my belly each morning when he kisses me goodbye. Countless blessings and sweet moments.

Ryley has been working so very hard. He acquired a lot more land this crop season compared with the last. He has been working anywhere between 60-100 hours just about all summer, and he is just gearing up for fall harvest, his busiest time of the year. He also became a seed representative, which will bring him more work starting this winter and in the years to come. It has been stressful; I wish he could come with to every doctor appointment and be there at night to help me with the things I want done before the baby is here. But we do what we can, and we know it will all work out just fine.

This past weekend I was richly blessed with a visit from my dad and Debi. My dad is always very eager to do things for us around the house. He washed all the windows inside and out, mowed the lawn, cleaned out the entire garage, put some pictures on the wall, and completed countless other small cleaning and fixing projects. Debi blessed me with great conversation, helped me clean out the nursery and paint it. I feel so much more content and less overwhelmed by everything they got done! They both have generous servant hearts.

And so, that is where I'm at. Yesterday I ordered the crib and changing tower...even though we don't plan to have the baby in the nursery for a few months. But you always have to keep your plan flexible, right? Anyway, it was exciting and relieving to have that decision out of the way.

June

Here's what we've been up to. We had the privilege of standing up in Ryley's youngest sister's wedding on June 5th. It was amazing to watch these two young people join their lives together for God's glory...I met Heather when she was 15 and I was 20, and she has become a beautiful young woman, inside and out. Her husband, BJ, has been a great addition to the family, and we absolutely adore him. I am so thankful for Heather and BJ as my family...and it makes life that much sweeter when they are also a few of my dearest friends!

I was 20 weeks pregnant over the wedding weekend, in case you were wondering. Here's another picture of my "progress"...this one was at 19 weeks (in May).

And so June has proved to be an eventful month. I am now 27 years old. And 5 years ago today was our wedding day.

It's been an amazing 5th year of marriage; I'd say our best yet. We grew up a lot, pursued starting a family, and I have an even deeper love and respect for my dear husband. I'm almost 23 weeks pregnant now, and we have shared so many life-changing moments in these past 12 months...like the first time he felt the baby moving 5 weeks ago, or farther back when we were dreaming of our child who we thought lived in a distant land. I'm excited to see what God has planned for us. And I'm looking forward to many more years with the man I love most in this world.

Where to start...

So I haven't had a post in 3 months. This is what has been going on.

On Sunday, March 1st I had our I-800A all set to be dropped off at FedEx Monday morning, destination the Immigration lock box in Chicago, IL. Monday morning I came down with the flu, which persisted through Wednesday. Finally, on Thursday morning, I woke up at 5:30 a.m. and started getting ready for work. After I got out of the shower and started with my makeup, I thought I better throw something in the garbage that I had forgotten about. I went to throw the item in the garbage, but just before I released my fingers......

It was an at-home pregnancy test. With a plus sign. GASP! I did not expect this. I was just taking my quarterly test, since my cycles are unpredictable it's become routine...I honestly didn't think my "flu" was actually pregnancy symptoms! Complete shock, disbelief, and panic followed. I rushed into the bedroom where Ryley was sleeping and woke him up with the news. I started crying, more panic, more shock. Quickly finished getting ready for work and stopped off at a store to get another test on my way there. Took the test when I arrived at the office...mind you, I am the first one there. Positive. I call Ryley..."I'm still pregnant." It's 7:30 a.m. by this time, and I call the clinic. "I have two tests that say I'm pregnant. I've never done this before, what do I do now?" They tell me to come in for lab work at 11:00 a.m.

The morning rushes by in a blur, and there I am at the doctor's office. They give me a cup to pee in. I said, "I'm sorry, I don't want to urinate in this cup. Is this necessary? I've already peed on 2 sticks that say I'm pregnant. Is there someone I can talk to about what I'm supposed to do? It's okay if I have to wait a week, but I just want to see a nurse or doctor."

5 minutes later, I'm laying on the exam table...seeing the fetus on the screen, hearing its heartbeat. The doctor was saying, "How long have you and your husband been trying?" Since never. She says, "Oh it's so exciting!" I started crying. I'm sorry I'm not excited right now! I took my ultrasound pictures and went back to the office.

That was almost 3 months ago! It's hard to believe how much has changed already. I want you to know that I never wished (even in the middle of my panic and shock) that this baby didn't happen. It's just that we were doing everything to prevent it because we felt called to adopt our firstborn. Not that we never wanted biological children. And if we were allowed to continue pursuing the adoption, we would have continued without hesitation. But our agency (and many agencies, from what I understand) would not allow that. What I had emotionally invested and planned on, all the work we had been through to get to that point...an afterthought being the money that we had put in. I needed a few weeks to adjust.

God has always had a bigger plan than I can imagine. My husband and I both agree that adoption is still a desire of our heart, and we hope it happens for us down the road. We are still brokenhearted for the precious children without homes. And now, God willing, we will have a sweet baby sometime this fall. It has been a challenge to my faith to understand, and I still don't understand. But I do know what an immense blessing this child is and will be. I know that the good Lord created this baby, despite all our prevention, and this child is meant to be our firstborn. This child was created to be ours. And how can we argue with that?

We are looking forward to starting our family! A little quicker than we had anticipated because of the adoption timeline...but God is so good!

The process...and dogs

For those of you wondering where we're at in the process, we received a draft of our adoption study (aka home study) last week, sent the corrections to our Social Worker, and should receive the final legal document this week (hopefully). Our I-800A is ready to be sent of to the USCIS (U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services), and we will do just that as soon as we receive the final adoption study.

And if you're wondering what an I-800A is: it is an application for determination of suitability to adopt a child from a different country. The particular country we are applying to adopt from, according to our agency's country program specialist, requires by law that this application be approved in the U.S. before we can submit our dossier to that country. And so...word on the street is that our I-800A will take 3-4 months to be processed. Once approved, we will send our dossier to the country and hopefully be accepted to their list of waiting families. And then the wait for a referral begins. Our agency estimates 9-12 months for a referral (after we are on the official waiting list), and then 5-8 months after we accept a referral until the child is ready to travel. So we are being conservative and going with the longest scenario, planning on a 2 year wait. Of course, international adoption is unpredictable, and we aren't even on a waiting list yet, so this is why I am not ready to put on our blog which country we believe our child is from. Many of you know, anyway.

In the meantime, I wake up each morning with a longing in my heart for this child who I pray unceasingly for. The idea of waiting for 2 years gets me down sometimes. But then, I just ask God to pour out his Spirit on my life and heart, and that He will use me. God always meets me where I'm at...whether it be through Scripture, loving words from my husband, or encouragement through new "blog friends" who are somewhere in their adoption journey. And as for the God using me part...more on that in a different post, as I really want to share what the Lord is doing in my life.

So, while we wait...here's some doggy pictures from the last month.

Dale came to visit!!! Left to Right: Maddy, Macy, and Dale. Maddy is the mama to Macy and Dale. Dale's owner is my stepsister, Rachel. In this picture, they are eating ice cream for dogs called "Frosty Paws." I know my girls would have less happy life without their ice cream...haha.

Dale, Maddy, and Macy...waiting for their ice cream.

Dale, Maddy, Macy...just lounging.

Macy, Maddy, and me. We are champion snugglers.

We call Ryley our "papa." He's a good papa...he made ants on a log for us girls. I forgot until after ate them that dogs are not supposed to have grapes...or the dehydrated version.

And so, we settle in for another work week. Walleye fishing season ends today, so we are about to head out to the ice shack for one last hurrah. Then my dad will be making his way over here at the end of the week for a guys' weekend...the boys will be heading to South Dakota to do some more ice fishing. I think Ryley will enjoy his fishing time without his girls bugging him...but I know he'll miss us. I'm so thankful that Ryley and my dad are good friends.

Holiday in Jamaica

Finally posting pictures from our vacation in January. There is one picture in this set of our good friends, Ryan and Marianne, who took care of Maddy and Macy for 8 nights. Which is amazing to me...they already have 2 great danes of their own, 2 cats, and a baby! It was so nice to know that our dogs were well taken care of, though...

Ryley and I had a great time in Jamaica, and it was such a blessing to have a whole week together. We were very stressed out before we went. Our first home study visit, as I mentioned, was the day before our flight was scheduled to depart for Montego Bay.

On that afternoon of our meeting with our Social Worker, she informed us of a program that was opening up, an opportunity to adopt from Ecuador. Right now, Children's Home is the only U.S. agency that can facilitate adoptions from Ecuador. She said the program was looking for around 10 families for referrals that would be occurring in March and April. We were so confused, as all of a sudden so many options had opened up.

Anyway, our adoption was and remains to be at the forefront of our minds. So getting away with my best friend to relax and enjoy ourselves really couldn't have come at a better time. We truly did focus on our love for each other while we were away from reality. Oh, and by the way, we did not go with the Ecuador program, as tempting as it was to potentially receive a referral so quickly.

FINALLY telling my in-laws...

We are getting ready to share our plans to start a family with Ryley's parents tonight! I'm very excited and nervous, all at the same time. I have left the timing of this announcement up to Ryley, and now it's finally here. They at least have some indication of our desire to adopt, as it has been mentioned before, but they have no knowledge that we are actually moving forward.

After we tell them, I feel like we can share this news with the "general public." Although, I struggle on how private we should be...especially since this will be a long road ahead and it seems almost trivial to share something that will (hopefully) happen two years from now. But I dream of this child every day, so it's all very real to me.

I look forward to sharing the country program we have applied to soon, along with all the details. Although I still haven't shared this blog with very many people...

Waiting on God

We are waiting on God to give us clear direction in our adoption journey. We have been praying, discussing, and listening. It's frustrating, but I am confident that God will light our path. That at the end of this path, we will meet our precious firstborn, and this child will be who God has planned for us, and we will be blessed.

For those wondering about where we're at in the process. Our first adoption study meeting is this Thursday, January 8th at the agency. We will be staying overnight in the Twin Cities to catch our plane on Friday morning for a vacation we have been planning for the past year. We get back to Minnesota on January 16th, and then our in-home meeting with our social worker is scheduled for Tuesday, January 20th. Exciting times! We are expecting to announce our plans to everyone soon, and hopefully be able to tell everyone the program we are applying to. After January 20th, we will be working on country program specific paperwork and documentation.

God continues to work, to provide, to surround us with reaffirmation and comfort through friends, conversations, and sweet moments together dreaming of starting a family. I continue to be amazed at how God surrounds me with His love, specifically how He provides encouragement at the exact moment I need it. There have been a few times in the past few weeks that I've broken down. When I look at the uncertainty of what's ahead, sometimes I grow impatient. The desire to be a mama wells up in my heart with each passing day...and the prospect of waiting up to 2 years to bring home our child overwhelms me. What would I do with myself for that long? The answer has come to me. I will fix my eyes on God, commit to serving wherever He calls me, and trust in His timing.

Oh, and maybe get another puppy or kitty to occupy my maternal instincts...and enjoy my friend's children.

Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.