It has been such a long time since I wrote on my public blog. Life has been overwhelming for me in that there are so many things up in the air right now. Throughout the past 3 months we have been working on business deals for Ryley that seemed solid one day and gone the next. Thankfully that has been worked out as of this week.
Our house of five years, which was up for sale for about 2 months back in August, was put back on the market in April. We received an offer 5 days later. Given the current real estate market, we were surprised and excited. Especially since we had found the perfect house one week prior to that offer. After an inspection and then an extension of the inspection contingency which kept me on pins and needles, it looks like we will close on the sale of our house in mid-June.
The dream home... didn't work out. It wasn't that we couldn't afford the asking price, but it was the fact that the sellers are above a realistic price in this market and would not budge after 3 weeks of offers and counter offers.
We set out to sell our house because we wanted to upgrade and to get out of town. We have good neighbors, but we don't want neighbors this close anymore. We knew we would have to take less than the price we purchased it for in order to sell it, but we stood to gain more on a house worth twice or three times more.
That was the only home on the market that met our needs with the idea of making it our last move through our child rearing years.
I have about 7 weeks left until my due date. No place to call home. It is not easy to find a house to rent in this area without signing a 12-month lease and shipping our dogs off temporarily.
I fluctuate between panic, ignorance, laziness, urgency... I realize that it would be very nice to at least be settled somewhere before this baby comes. But I find it hard to stay on task and focus the rare spurts of energy into being productive.
All I have to cling to is the hope that someday I will look back and see that all this emotional distress got us to a better place. I hope that better place is a house that truly feels like home, where I will raise all my babies and welcome grandchildren one day. But maybe where we're going isn't the perfect home. Maybe there is another purpose to it all. So I try not to wonder what it might be or worry in the meantime... I will try just to enjoy the ride and not let the unknowns get in the way of the precious moments in life. Like how my son will sometimes hold my face and kiss me so long that it starts to get awkward (for me, but not him). Or the moment when I will hold this next baby in my arms and introduce Sawyer to his sibling, and how Ryley will finally get the surprise of finding out the sex of this child when he or she is born.
At least God knows where we're going.
