Thought of the Day

There comes a time when you have to just say no to maternity jeans. No matter how comfortable they are. For me, that day came almost 5 months after I stopped being pregnant. So no more of that...not even once in awhile.

Our Busyness

My blog seems to have turned into more of a picture show...not much time to write down what is going on in my heart, but rather only what we've been up to. So rather than fight it, this is what our life is like.

Ryley works Monday through Saturday and the occasional few hours on a Sunday to feed cattle. He works anywhere from 70-100 hours in the spring, summer, and fall. Usually winter brings a respite, except for this winter. The harvest last fall went late...and in fact, he is combining his corn today...which is crazy. He had weeks of hauling his soybeans to a food processing plant a few hours away. And lots of little things in between. So I'm looking forward to next winter already.

I went back to work a little over a month ago. I work 3 days/week, usually M-W-F so I can avoid being away from Sawyer two days in a row. He goes to a daycare a few blocks away in our small little town (I think our population is 240 for those of you who don't know where I live). Ryley has been dropping Sawyer off and I pick him up.

Sawyer has been changing up his sleep schedule. He has eliminated his 5:00 am feeding. Most nights he sleeps from 9:00 pm to 7:30 am with little interruption besides the occasional "where's my nuk" 5 second remedy. The past few nights, however, he's been trying to stay up later. And this morning he wanted to wake up at 6:30 am.

I had a brief respite after I finally got our taxes finished a few weeks ago (taxes for us are due around the end of February each year because of agriculture). Today I am finishing up a series of spreadsheets for our presentation later this afternoon at the bank. I am knee deep in projections and financial statement preparation as I type; however I felt compelled to update my blog.

This week we are looking forward to another visit from the grandparents from afar (Wisconsin). Just a few days and they will be here! And I'm already sad because their visit will go by too quickly.

So that's what's going on. I am trying to balance my time between my career, keeping track of Ryley's career (paper pushing), and baby. So, without further ado, here's some more Sawyer pictures.

Baby's got blue eyes...not sure if it shows up on the blog like it does on my computer. He looks like he's swimming!

Edgar the Elephant...is delicious.

Cereal...A Photo Documentary

A few days ago, right after I posted "Shrimps and Pineapple," we tried rice cereal. He seemed so eager to eat and I thought we'd give it a try. I wasn't planning to think about solids before 6 months, as all my books recommend, but being a first time mom I was a little eager. He seemed to really enjoy it, as you can see in the photos below...but after I checked out a website that my blogger friend, Kureen recommended, (thanks Kureen!) I decided to hold off. And next time, we won't do cereal...but rather other foods that have nutritional value.

We learned that his digestive system isn't really ready for it, either. But we enjoyed the experience all the same.

Just enjoying life.

So. Very. Focused.

Surprised by the camera flash.

Gimme gimme gimme!

Foot In Mouth

He's a big fan of his feet lately!

Shrimps and Pineapple

Ryley with his "Nachos Blairos."

So while on our regular journey to Sam's Club a few months back to rush the frozen food section for items like chicken, fish, broccoli, strawberries, etc. that we can't find that level of quality for the price, Ryley decided we'd buy some raw shrimp. We usually buy the 3 lb. package of colossal cooked shrimp...but he had his heart set on the raw stuff. This was unknown territory for me.

These shrimps were gray. They had legs. And a shell and veins and everything.

It didn't seem that horrifying until he decided to make them this past Sunday. The thawed, raw shrimps were just laying there, legs now useless, heads cut off, and like a cruel joke they still had their shells...as if that would protect them.

Now those of you who know Ryley well, it's shocking enough that he would offer to cook dinner. He never cooked before I met him...not beyond heating up a can of soup. Since we've married, he has learned a few things here and there, perfecting the art of "Nachos Blairos," and also his famous hot wings.

He searched the internet for a recipe for shrimp, and eventually came up with his own version. Here is the final product:

Cajun Shrimp

1 lb. raw shrimp, de-tailed, de-veined

2 TB unsalted butter

2 tsp. olive oil

1/2 tsp. paprika

1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper

3/4 tsp. garlic powder

1/2 tsp. onion powder

1/4 tsp. salt

1/4 tsp. black pepper

1/2 tsp. oregano

chopped parsley

1. Season the shrimp with the spices above. You can also add hot sauce; he went with Frank's Red Hot.

2. Melt butter in pan or wok over medium-high heat, drizzle olive oil into pan.

3. Just before butter browns, add the shrimp one at a time to the pan. Cook approx. 2 minutes on each side.

Meanwhile, I cooked up some linguine noodles and a garlic cream sauce. THE SHRIMP WERE GENIUS. I am never looking back...no more pre-cooked shrimps for me! As tragic as it was to see the beheaded gray shrimp before we de-shelled, de-legged, and de-veined, I am sure they would have been fine sacrificing themselves to be my supper if they knew how delicious they were.

In other culinary news around our household, Sawyer is intensely interested in what Ryley and I put in our mouths. His obsession went to a whole new level over the weekend. He was sitting in Ryley's lap while Ryley was eating pineapple.

Ryley puts pineapple to lips. Sawyer opens mouth wide. Ryley takes another piece of pineapple. Wide-mouthed, wide-eyed Sawyer.

After 5 pieces of pineapple, Sawyer started to panic. He sees pineapple, opens mouth, hollers, growls, shoves fists into mouth, grabs for pineapple, grabs at Ryley's mouth.

I had in my mind that we were going to wait until 6 months to introduce rice cereal, but I don't know if I can hold this hungry boy off much longer.

March 5th, 2009

One year ago today, my life changed. It was the first time I realized I was carrying Sawyer's precious life. You can read about that story here. These are just some thoughts running through my head today...they are scattered, so we'll see if they make sense to anyone but myself.

That was the most shocking day of my life. I always thought that the day I found out I was pregnant, I would be overcome with excitement and when I told my husband, we would jump up and down for joy. Since it wasn't something we were pursuing, I instead was panicked and terrified. Not at all because I didn't want a baby...it was just the last thing I expected.

It took me a few weeks to adjust. But much to my surprise, as I've mentioned before, I had an easy and enjoyable pregnancy. I really enjoyed each day and I was living in the moment.

Now, as you know, my sweet baby is 4 months old. A few people have commented that having a baby hasn't really changed me drastically like they've seen it change other people. I don't really know exactly what that means...maybe just because I'm not sleep deprived (yet, at least)? I think I understood the breadth of how life would change, but of course no one can understand the depth in which your focus changes until they have their first child. I didn't have a revelation about the meaning of life, I already knew it. I think I have just become more sensitive to realizing that everyone I meet is someone's child, so I try to be more kind. And to take it one step further, everyone I meet is God's creation...and He loves His children more than I love Sawyer.

I think my constant awareness of my mortality and how short life is has become even more intense than before. I treasure each moment I have with my boy, as they are all gifts from God. And we all know how fast children grow up, so I just try to savor each look, each touch...even when he is hollering at me. I think this outlook on life has made me care less about what people think of me, less apt to waste my time on things that don't matter.

Time is so much more precious than things. I would rather live in a cardboard box with Ryley and Sawyer than live a life working towards worldly success or possessions.

I have known great joy in this past year. In the sweet moments I shared with my husband, sharing our last days as a family of two. Watching him become a papa. The quiet times holding my son, his first smiles, the way he gazed at me in wonder in the first few months. Amazing friends that have shown me so much love in celebrating the arrival of our firstborn. Watching my dad and stepmom meet their first grandchild. How they blessed us with help only they could provide by making two trips to take care of us in the few weeks after Sawyer arrived. And every time they are with him, they absolutely adore him and I am so very thankful that he has amazing grandparents that will make a positive impact on his life. To watch Sawyer be so loved by his grandparents, aunts, uncles, and others has made my heart soar.

I wish I could better explain those moments when he was brand new; how he studied me and I could feel his concentration...I will always have my stepmom's voice in my head narrating as she did in those first few weeks when Sawyer and I would stare at each other, and she'd say, "are you my pretty mommy?" and she made me believe that's what he was thinking. The first weeks when you and your child are just getting to know each other are absolutely precious.

I feel like my life is a crescendo that continues to build. Of course we have hard times, and I probably haven't seen the worst of it yet. But this time I'm living, full of hopes and dreams for Sawyer and the future of our family...well, my cup is overflowing. And I am so in love with my precious child, and even more deeply in love with our Creator.

4 months

Since there isn't a Feb. 29th, I guess today would be 4 months old! I can't believe how time has flown by. This last year has been a whirlwind.

Sawyer had a rough week...his first cold. There were a few days where he was inconsolable, and a few restless nights, which we are not used to. He had an appointment today, but no shots. The doctor thought it was best to skip them since Sawyer wasn't feeling the greatest. Dr. Hegstad thinks he has RSV. His fever seems to have broken now, and he's in better spirits, which we are grateful for. At 4 months old, Sawyer is on the small side for weight...12 pounds 14 ounces, 25 1/2". Long and lean.

His legs are very strong, and he loves to stand in papa's lap and watch TV. He'll stand there for 15 minute intervals. He's been rolling over from his back to stomach for a month now, and started rolling from his stomach to his back about 10 days ago. Which is nice...he hasn't mastered the stomach to back yet though, so on occasion I have to help him flip to his back since he gets very angry if he's on his stomach for too long.

He continues to be very fond of his puppy, Macy. The two days where he was miserable, the only smiles he flashed were for her.

Other things he enjoys include putting everything in his mouth, holding our faces in his hands, and talking. He gets very happy when his papa comes home from work, and they usually have a silly song and dance time together in the evening. He likes to kick and splash during bath times.

He continues to be a very happy boy and is still on the same sleep schedule...8 hours, semi-awake to eat, then another 2-3 hours. Much to the dismay of our dogs, Sawyer still sleeps in our bedroom and they do not. It won't be long until he outgrows his bassinet, and so we will likely move the crib into our room. He mostly sleeps on his tummy at night and sleeps in our bed part of the time...I know, I'm just asking for criticism, right? But I've always been a situational person, and we as parents are just doing what's right for us. I love being Sawyer's mama.

He looks so old in this picture!

Bath time.

With Dawson, his 3rd cousin. Pretty sure they will be good buds someday.

Sawyer and his Macy.

The dog loves any attention she can get...even if it's just a squeeze on the mouth.

He just has that mischievous twinkle in his eyes...