Anyway, let's get to the point. Sawyer is turning 1 year old in 2 days. I can't believe it. Time has gone by so quickly since I've been married, but this year has seemed like days. I must admit, that while it's been fun to watch Sawyer grow and learn, I am feeling very melancholy about the fact that he is growing up.
I am still breastfeeding him. It's been a battle for the last two months because of my low milk supply, which comes from a combination of him sleeping 12 hours at night and my being away from him 3 days/week. I think the people at work think I'm crazy, still heading to the bathroom with my pump bag 3-4 times per day. Not that I would ever care, of course.
But our time as a breastfeeding pair is quickly drawing to a close. About a month ago I sat down to nurse him, and he latched on as usual, but after a few seconds he stopped and pulled back, looking at my breast and then up at me as if to say, "Is this really appropriate?" He then proceed to study my breast, and then even poke at it. Even though he's my baby, I will admit that I was embarassed. Isn't that funny? But it was downright awkward.
Even though I know this time will be over (and in fact, I think he's ready for it to be over), I think I press on because I feel like if I am still breastfeeding him, he is still a baby. Duh, I know that's not true. But still. I really wish he was my baby forever. Cue pause in typing to wipe my tears.
