What's Troubling You?

Do you worry and wonder a lot? About finances? Relationships? Your future?

I tend to be one of those people who, when I get a new idea in my head... (adoption, vacation, house hunting, my marriage, etc.) I tend to focus so much of my time on the particular issue of the moment, whether it be through research, worry, or just thinking about it.

In an attempt to balance my life, I've been really trying to look beyond thoughts that can dominate my mind (whether they are commendable or completely selfish). Of course, it's easy to pick out the thoughts that are completely self-serving... I want a different house, but I certainly don't need one. And really, time spent dreaming of a new home does not change or benefit anything.

But then, I have spent so much time on and off in the past few years on the idea of adoption. Looking at different agencies, programs, etc. While it is good to care about orphans around the world, I'm not sure that spending huge blocks of time on it really benefits me at this point. It certainly hasn't led to anything! While I of course still have a burden on my heart to care for orphans, I certainly want it to be directed in a way that actually helps those abandoned, precious children out there. And I also don't want to neglect my own child in my "obsession" with wondering whether I will have the privilege of adopting one day.

At this season in my life, while my husband toils and worries constantly about harvest, I keep reminding myself to get a new perspective. Back up a bit to harvest... it is raining constantly here, which makes it near impossible to chop silage or combine corn, and also puts the crop in danger of a range of things, including mold on the soybeans which would cause damage that leads to loss. In this farm family, it's hard to escape worry because of farming. Constantly worrying about variables like market prices and weather especially. Right now, as it is raining yet again, I know my husband is out there burdened with frustration and worry. And I have resolved myself to not ask about it, because there's no sense in both of us being in that state of mind.

I've received so many reminders over the past week that check my perspective and challenge me to constantly look at the big picture. 9/11/2001 footage and commentaries. A sweet friend who briefly listened to my frustration about the rain and the affect on the crop, who shared with me that she felt led to pray for Ryley's safety. And think about that - of course I'd rather him live to see another harvest than make any amount of profit from farming.

Most sobering was my conversation yesterday with a friend who is in the process of sending their dossier to Haiti. In the midst of their wait to bring home their two priceless daughters, an infant and a 2 1/2 year old, I asked if she had received an update on her beautiful girls. Among a few other updates, she was happy that her daughters are now receiving 3 meals a day instead of the 1. And the 3 meals they are now receiving are rice.

Whatever is going on in your life right now, is it really worth worrying about it? My goal this week is to look for opportunities to meet the needs of someone else, and to be sensitive and grateful to the many ways which I am blessed.