Lead Me With Strong Hands - Part 1

Lead me with strong hands

Stand up when I can't

Don't leave me hungry for love

Chasing dreams

But what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight

That I'm still the love of your life

I know we call this our home

But I still feel alone

The first time I heard this song, Sawyer and I had stopped to take a break from driving, en route to my dad's house in Wisconsin. It doesn't happen very often that a song really speaks to my heart. I love that about music... I have a few songs that were themes to different chapters in my life. When I hear an old "soundtrack" to my life, it always brings me back, and often reminds me of how much the good Lord has done in my life.

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot in this season of my life about how fathers and husbands so greatly affect the lives of children and wives (the message of the song). When I feel like Ryley is giving me the attention, affection, and encouragement I desire from him, I feel like I can conquer the world; there is no person on earth that can boost my confidence like he can.

Additionally, I think about the impact he will have on the direction of Sawyer's and our future children's lives. Ryley has such a crucial job to do as a father who loves God. And God lays out a blueprint for doing that job well through His Word and His Spirit. Of course, Ryley will make mistakes, and God's grace will cover those.

Those thoughts lead to how my father affected my life. There are harsh words that still ring in my ears from my childhood... remind me of how my dad could not usually control his anger. And I don't say this to put my dad down; none of us do a perfect job. Though it wasn't until my adult years that I really felt I had a good relationship with my dad, I have watched him surrender his heart to God and begin to change and respond to the needs of those around him. I have so much respect and adoration for how far he's come. He has not had an easy life: a tumultuous childhood, including having only met his father once when he was in his mid-twenties. Losing his high school sweetheart who became his wife at age 41, left with two teenagers. The transformation I have witnessed in his life, especially in the last 10 years, has been amazing, glory to God.

Back to me and my dad. When I was growing up, even though he was hard on my sometimes, I remember how devoted he was. He has always made sacrifices for me; paying for college when the medical bills from my mom's sickness and passing were piled up. Hanging pictures, building a deck, and countless other things he's done since I've been married that Ryley was too busy for. When Sawyer was born he was there to take care of the house while we were in the hospital for 5 days and Ryley was working. When we came home from the hospital, I was still fairly weak and couldn't get around well... he stayed for nearly a week, cooking and cleaning, taking care of me. Without him, I would've been completely on my own.

And now, I notice how every time he looks at me, I can see how proud he is of me. Of course I don't deserve it, and I feel lucky to have a father who would absolutely go to the ends of the earth for me. I wonder if one ever stops seeking their father's approval... how many actually get it?

You guessed it, take it a step further. How much does our Father in heaven love us? Adore us? Want to do good things for us, take care of us? Even though we are undeserving, even though we fail. And so our earthly fathers must look to the only perfect Father-God, to mirror Him in their relationships with their children and wives.

So I'm praying for dads today, and thanking my Father for my dad.