The First Real Step

We have finally sent in our adoption application package. It's crazy to think we're at the very beginning of the actual process, even though we've been thinking, praying, and talking about it nonstop for the past nine months. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this process, we attended an information meeting, then filled out a registration form and sent it to CHS. They sent us our application about 3 weeks ago.

We answered a lot of questions about ourselves, including our background information, employment history, previous residence history, and information about our current home. We were also asked to explain the child we are hoping to adopt. We had to list three unrelated references and ask those people to write letters about our character and how we relate to one another. We also had to visit our doctors and have them fill out a medical report, include copies of our birth certificates and marriage license, and finally we got fingerprinted. Oh, and don't forget the $500 application fee. It was a lot...but it's only the tip of the iceberg, really.

Many thanks to the following people for writing letters for us: my boss, Josh - our dear friend, Chrissy - and our neighbors, Floyd & Iris. We very much look forward to sharing this journey with all of you...you have all been amazing friends to Ryley and me!

So, what next? We send in our application, and God willing, we will get invited to a 2-day adoption workshop. To the best of our understanding, a $2,400 fee will be due before we attend this class. We are hoping that our application will be processed in time for us to attend the December class, which according to their website is the 3rd Thursday & Friday of each month. We have vacation plans (that we planned 8 months ago) in January that will make us unavailable for the class that month...so we are definitely hoping we don't delay the process by having to wait until February. After the class is completed, we will begin our home study with a social worker, which takes a couple of months. Another $5,400 will be due by the end of our home study. So as you can see, we have a lot of upcoming fees! There will be many smaller fees along the way. But after our home study is complete, they will send it to the country we are hoping to adopt from and hopefully we will be accepted and placed on the waiting list. God willing, we will receive a referral under a year after that. If we do, we would travel to bring our baby home...and there would be a substantial fee due to that country when the process is completed.

Some of you know which country we have decided on. I'm choosing to keep that information off the blog for now, just in case things change. In the past, we had gotten very attached to the idea of adopting from Peru...and then we found out they were no longer taking applicants for children under age 5, and we were heartbroken.

If all goes as planned, we will hopefully have our firstborn by next Christmas! But the adoption process can always change, so we are trying to keep that in mind. We are praying fervently, because if things move along according to the timeline for the country we're interested in adopting from, our baby has likely been conceived. That just blows my mind. We are praying that God will prepare our little one's heart now, while in the womb, for the challenges he or she will face. We are aware that when the day comes to bring our precious child home, there were likely be attachment issues, as he or she will probably be around 9 months old. May God give him or her peace through the transition...and give us strength to stay the course through our adoption journey. I am getting ahead of myself here...so all of this is God willing. It's in your hands, Lord, and we are trusting that You have a perfect plan for our family.

Now You Know

So...here I am, finally writing my first post. The reason I decided to start this blog is so I can keep people updated not only on my life, but our plans to start a family. As I'm typing this, we are in the middle of completing our application to adopt! The agency we are working with is Children's Home Society and Family Services (CHSFS) in Saint Paul. Although we have not announced this to everyone we know at this point, we plan to soon...and since we've already started this process, I thought now was a good enough time to start journaling.

So, why are we adopting? This is a question I could spend hours answering. I never thought a whole lot about becoming a parent until I met Ryley, but we have both shared a desire to consider adoption since we began dating in 2003, when we were both 20 years old. When we turned 25, we started looking into it more...and so we have been in prayer about the direction of starting our family since late last winter. We feel confident that now is the time to move forward.

For us, it's not so much about defining this desire of our hearts, but rather being obedient to the call we feel like we have on our lives. But since curious people want answers, here it goes. Since I lost my mom in 1999, I have come to realize that 'family' isn't so much about being related through DNA. Rather, it's about being part of God's family...about loving each other unconditionally, through faults, trials, joy, and hurt. I have so many precious people in my life that I consider to be family, and they aren't all in my family tree. For example, my dear stepmom, Debi. She has stepped into a spiritual role in my life, and has shown me great love, mercy, and forgiveness. She has been there for me as I set out to become a person that chases after God. Another person is my very dear, sweet sister-in-law, Heather. I always wondered what it would be like to have a sister, and she has definitely fulfilled that longing for me. We can share our secrets, our hopes, our joys, and our pain...we've cried together, laughed together, and encouraged one another. I met Heather for the first time when she was 15 years old...my second date with Ryley was a weekend meeting his family...and she predicted that I would one day become his wife. She has become a close confidante and friend. Women like these two, among others, have shown me the true meaning of family and love. I know God has worked through some very special women to repair my heart after the loss of my mama, and now I feel like I am capable of becoming a mother myself, even though I don't have one of my own.

I think this matter of our hearts is so hard to put into words. We just feel like our child is out there, and we are on this beautiful journey of faith, trusting that our Lord will lead us to this precious little person. We are very thrilled and anxious, but still cautious...so with that, we are moving forward saying "God willing." God willing, we would love to find our baby soon. Until then, we are trusting that God will continue to mold our hearts and minds as we prepare for parenthood.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."