Promises

I accidentally told you our application had been sent out...but that wasn't true. I forgot we had to include a picture, and ever since I got a digital camera I haven't had any prints made! So that and the fact that there was no mail yesterday in observance of Veteran's Day delayed that step a little.

Today started out wonderfully.

I began my day meeting my sweet friend, Nicole for coffee. After good conversation and being encouraged, I headed to the office. My boss arrived and we had a good, positive discussion - about professional and personal matters - which hadn't happened in awhile. As you can imagine, working in a financial planning and investment business things have been stressful these past months, to say the least. So it was refreshing and motivating to start off our day at work on that note. On my lunch break, I picked up my picture that was to be included in our application package. I was on the phone with my dear Debi, who offered a prayer of joy and favor over our plans just seconds before I slipped the envelope into the mailbox. I was shaking with excitement and hope...and thinking to myself, "it's going to be a long year!" At the very beginning, and I can hardly contain my emotions.

The Dow was down 411 points today. These past two weeks have been discouraging on so many levels. But this was a good day. After work, I stopped by the library and picked up a few books on the history of the country we are hoping to adopt from. I got in my pickup, and my thoughts were that of hope for our future. I was thinking about God's promises, and reflecting on the fact that He placed this desire in our hearts for our plan of a family. I could just hear Him saying, "I know the plans I have for you..." and I was in communion with Him, at peace believing He knows what He's doing. All I have to do is be faithful and watch His beautiful plan for our marriage and family unfold.

You see, the devil loves to put doubt and fear into my head about this decision we've made. I feel like evil has been assailing me these past two weeks. Most of it has to do with financial aspects, which I am usually worrying about no matter what the season in my life. But I was savoring my thoughts about how God is faithful and good, and these plans He has for our lives will bring us blessings. Our job is to be obedient and steadfast in carrying out what we were called to do.

Feeling at peace and being full of joy that our application was in the mail, I called up Ryley on my drive home to let him know. Instead of sharing in my joy, he was very quiet. I asked him if he was excited, and all that he can think about is the grain market, which has been slashed in half in the past two months. All summer we had high hopes for a good harvest and market to sell our crops. Usually the guys are nearing the end in the field by now...but this year, they've barely begun. It's been raining or snowing for almost every week since the middle of September, which makes it impossible to get into the fields to harvest our crop. As most men, Ryley carries a burden to provide for me and his future family. And now that things are looking grim for our harvest, I know he is struggling with doubt that now is the time for us to come up with an estimated $30,000 to start our family.

I arrived home, feeling a little discouraged. I opened my door and gasped.... Since we've decided to move forward with this process, I have resolved not to spend money on frivolous things. I have been wanting some garland to dress up my kitchen for fall...but waited until mid-November to buy it because it would be on sale. So last week I found two very pretty garlands...the kind that look like they have little blossoms that are usually made of styrofoam, but these were the more expensive and durable plastic kind...for less than $10. I had set them on the dining room table, careful not to let them hang over the edge. Back to the gasping... Well, the dogs were inside today because of the rain...and Macy had pulled them down and shredded them well beyond repair.

That was it. I was SO ANGRY that my happy, fruitful day had so quickly went sour. I yelled at both the dogs even though Macy was the only guilty one (she's the younger one...and mama Maddy has not gotten into trouble for a few years now). I banished them both to their crate (they were huddled together in it, even though it's only meant for one). I went about cleaning up Macy's little escapade, which was strewn all over the house. Halfway into it, I just started letting my tears roll. And in that moment of weakness, I was reminded that those thoughts I had had earlier...you know, the encouraging, promising ones about my future...were from the Lord. He knew I was going to be confronted with this today. He knew I needed a pep talk. And today I know I heard from my Father.

I am praying that our ears and hearts will continue to be open to this reassurance from our loving, faithful Lord...we have to continue to believe He will keep His promises, no matter what wrenches the enemy throws into the plans. And from now on, I want to encourage those who are trying to live out the life God has called them to. You never know when someone is being attacked. Keep the faith.

Acts 2:39 The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off—for all whom the Lord our God will call.

Hebrews 10:23-25
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.